Deuce's thoughts on Fall

This is my mom's favorite time of year.

I agree with her on most points - the air gets a chill in it, the leaves are fun to crunch through, my coat  turns to luxurious black velvet.   We get back into a hard work routine now that the summer heat is gone.

But there's one thing I absolutely hate about Fall.  Mom gets this crazy idea that we need to take a bath once a year whether we need it or not.  She says something about starting off the winter with nice clean skin, blah, blah, blah.   So I get an annual bath.  I mean, she hoses the sweat off me all summer long, but this is an involved deal with shampoo and all that.   Now, Chuck and Willie love this bath thing.

Chuck and Willie are chumps.

Mom knows I hate being groomed, and bathed.  The deal is I keep myself spotlessly clean all year, and she only brushes me enough to make sure nothing will cause a saddle sore. Fair enough, right?  But all bets are off the last warm week in Fall.

Me, after 12 straight days of rain.  Still show ready.  Look how clean my white socks are!

So today I endured this yearly ritual.  While she has her routine of medicated shampoo, washing out my mane and tail, etc. I have my own routine, too.   At some point during my bath, I like to pretend there is something incredibly scary just outside the barn.  I snort, crane my neck to look, get all tense, show the whites around my eyes.  While she stops to see if there's something actually out there, I like to poop in the wash stall, step in it, and make a mess that she will have to clean up.   I also like when my long mane is full of suds, and then I shake my whole body like I have flies - get her nice and soaked with dirty suds.   Stand on the hose.  Kick over any buckets she's using.  Dance around and come close to stepping on her toes (don't step on them, though, because if she breaks a foot she won't be taking care of us for a bit).   Give her the evil eye and threaten to turn her into a lawn dart during our next ride.

Giving Mom a little post bath side eye

If you think any of this deters her, it doesn't.  She stays annoyingly cheerful.

The nice part is after a bath, Mom usually lets me hang out in the barn with her while she puts things away.  She'll put a big fan in the aisle for me to stand in front of, talk to me, let me wander around and help her.  That part I like.  She needs my help.

I'm growing a mustache this year for the cold weather.  What do you think?

So now I am spotlessly clean, and I kinda smell like strawberries.  What did I get for all this trouble? One frosted mini wheat.  She said I'm still too fat and insists I can't tell how many treats I get, but I KNOW she gave Willie 2 mini wheats.

We might have to revisit the whole lawn dart thing.

D.